I am writing here today mostly to hold myself accountable to what I have planned for tomorrow. You see, I haven't been to reconciliation since I went for the first time in RCIA 10 plus years ago. I have allowed myself to find excuse after excuse for not going. When I first converted, I was involved with a very liberal college parish who didn't emphasize the importance of the sacrament. After college, life got busy and we didn't become heavily involved in church. I didn't grow up in the Catholic faith and I didn't feel the tug to go. I didn't really understand the value in going. Growing up, I was taught that the Catholic practice of reconciliation was not a correct interpretation of the bible. So, it has been a hard concept for me to understand. Now I think I do and I am ready to go. As long as I don't chicken out. Which is why I am writing here. If I write it here, then I will go.
In my quest to understand the importance of reconciliation, I have been in prayer. I have prayed for God to show me where I need to examine; what I need to rid myself of; how I need to change. He has shown me that. And the list is quite long. I am easily overwhelmed by it. I am praying for guidance. I am praying for the priest. I hope God has cleared enough time in his schedule for my confession.
Peace Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that I may seek not so much to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For in giving we receive,In pardoning we are pardoned,
And in dying we are born to eternal life.