The Road of Life

“It should be right down this street,” I said to my anxious husband. We were now 10 minutes into our “let’s find a Chick-fil-a” adventure. He let out a heavy sigh to further punctuate his disapproval of our veer off the usual route. When I first announced that the iPhone found a Chick-fil-a about 8 miles north of the interstate, he was reluctant to agree to the idea. While I enjoy getting off the beaten path, he sees these adventures as time-consuming, gas-wasting annoyances that will curtail his chances of beating his previous record drive time from Dallas to New Orleans. I suspect that our differing opinions on the matter have much to do with the fact that he’s from Mars and I’m from Venus. But nevertheless, here was my Martian driving this hungry Venetian to a somewhat healthy fast food experience.


“Where is it?” the annoyed Martian asked as the packed city street started to give way to sparsely populated businesses and homes. We were now approaching 15 minutes of what he considered lost precious time.

“I don’t know! The iPhone says we passed it but I didn’t see a restaurant. We should turn around.” On our second trip down the same street, it became apparent that the Chick-fil-a was just a figment of the iPhone’s imagination. The tension in the air was palpable as we went through the What-A-Burger drive through and then raced back to I-20. Although the Martian knew it wasn’t entirely my fault, our failed adventure further fueled his hesitancy to entertain my wild and crazy ideas that lead us away from the well-traveled interstate.

It was on our way back home from New Orleans that I realized how much I am like him. As I watched the bayou slowly give way to the sugar cane fields, I reflected on just how much of this great country I have seen. My eyes have taken in the beauty of the rolling wheat fields and my ears the music of the roaring ocean. I’ve walked the streets laid by our founding fathers and rested in the fields where cowboys lived their storied lives. I touched the names of the soldiers who gave their lives in Vietnam and prayed at the hallowed scar in the earth where the twin towers once stood. I’ve seen the Lady who proudly holds high her torch - whose sight welcomed my great-grandfather to this land all those years ago. And although my feet have danced on the same Virginia shores on which my English ancestors arrived 13 generations ago, I realized in the moment when my eyes gazed at the passing rice fields that a lot of what I’ve seen has been from the comfort of my car while traveling down the interstate. Yes, I am like the Martian I married. I like the planned and predictable adventure one finds on the well-traveled road.

But is that really the life I want to live? When I’m old and gray and ready to leave this world, what stories will I have to tell? What adventures will have marked my life? To my great dismay, I am approaching my mid-thirties. I know that it doesn’t sound that bad, but when I look back, I am startled by the speed at which my twenties raced by. It all seems like it was over in a blink of an eye. I don’t want to arrive at the end of my thirties and realize that I have squandered yet another decade of precious life by living inside my comfort zone and avoiding the risks adventures require. I think, as Christians, we are called to live a different life which naturally lends itself to adventure. But I fear I am missing out on that life. Although I work hard at living the Christian life, I tend to live it on my terms - in my comfort zone. I know God will always allow me to experience Him on my terms, what am I missing by staying in my comfort zone? How much more exciting will the adventure be on His terms?

Jesus surrendered Himself body and soul to us and for us. And he continues to do so at every Mass into the hands of the priest at the altar. At the altar, He invites us to return that love; to offer Him that same surrender of our lives; to enter into that perfect life-giving agape love the Holy Trinity shares. And when we do so and receive His body and soul into our hearts, He lives in us and through us. And He desires to take our surrendered souls on an adventure of a lifetime. He desires to share heaven with us here on earth. But we have to let go of our comfort zone. We have to truly surrender and agree to get off the interstate. We may even have to get out of the car. And although we may not find a Chick-fil-a, we will find an adventure like no other. We will experience God like we have never imagined. And like my wise Martian says, we should “sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Unlike the iPhone, the man driving the car knows where he’s going.”

Sunsets

I’ve fallen in love with sunsets all over again. I have always been drawn to them, but lately, they have been extra special. As a kid, even though I moved around a lot, I always seemed to live in a place where it was hard to really see a sunset because trees or buildings hid the horizon. So when we went to visit my family in Oklahoma where the land is flat and the trees are few, I always looked forward to watching that moment when the light surrendered to the darkness. When day and night come together, they create a beautiful scene for the eyes to behold. God’s artistry in the sunset is far greater than what any artist can capture on paper, film or otherwise. It was a glorious experience to see such vivid beauty unfold right before my eyes.


When we moved to north Texas, I was excited to be reunited with the beautiful sunsets of my childhood. I enjoyed watching them with my husband and children. I loved being in the middle of something greater than myself. But, it was only recently that I came to appreciate their divine beauty in a whole new way. A few weeks ago, I read an article where the author spoke of the beauty in God’s creation (When God Shouts at You by Jason Kotecki). And how God uses His beautiful creation to touch us – to whisper “I love you” in our ears. That statement stuck with me in the week that followed. And then it came true. At the end of a very busy Sunday, I was leaving a home of a family who was preparing to invite Jesus into their home and hearts. After we finished praying together, I got into my car and turned down the street to leave their neighborhood. As I started driving up the hill, I almost had to stop the car. The sunset the Lord painted in the sky was the most breathtaking I had ever seen. God’s “I love you” rang in my ears as I gazed at the brilliant and pretty colors all dancing in harmony with the wispy and perfectly made clouds. As my eyes took in the moment, I could feel His arms around me and hear His voice in my ear. Yes, sunsets would never be the same again – they are now special “I love you” moments I share with my Lord.

I have shared several more sunsets with the Lord since that day. And through them, the Lord has shown me glorious sights, whispered sweet words in my ears and filled my soul with divine love. But today, the sunset was a little different. Once again, I found myself in my car and driving west at that perfect time of day. I was anticipating the beautiful display that would unfold right before my eyes. But, it never seemed to come. Today’s sunset just didn’t appear to be that glorious. The little devil on my shoulder said, “Ha! See! He doesn’t always give you that sunset. He doesn’t always show you His love. You just aren’t always that important to Him.” I didn’t want to believe him. But I was tempted to. You see, there was something that I really wanted to work out. There was something I really wanted to happen. And then the circumstances aligned so it seemed as if it would happen. And so I prayed. At first, I prayed for God’s will. But in the end, I shamelessly begged God for my will to be His will. To make a long story short, it didn’t work out. God said “no”. And I was disappointed. It is hard to hear that word – no. When we hear that word, our minds want to know why. And God doesn’t always make the why obvious. He doesn’t explain the ins and outs of His will to us. He doesn’t tell us what lies ahead on the road; He just gives us what we need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Then He asks us to trust Him and hold His hand as we walk along on the dark and ill-traveled road together.

One scripture that comes to me frequently is Matthew 6:25-34, where Jesus tells us not to worry. He explains that God takes care of the birds and the flowers so why wouldn’t He take care of us? He loves us more than the birds or the grass in the field, so surely He will make sure we have what we need. Jesus tells us that, rather than worry, we should seek out the kingdom of God. In other words, don’t let worry steal your precious moments with God. Instead of worry, we should worship.

I’m also reminded of Job’s story. God allowed horrible things to happen to His beloved Job. God knew that Job’s love for Him was greater than any of the blessings Job experienced in his life. So, God let the devil take all those blessings away one by one. And Job, although distraught, never wavered in his love. Job never stopped worshipping. He continually turned to God when the world told him he had every reason to turn away. Job did not let worry steal his love or his precious moments with the Lord.

As I continued to drive my car towards the setting sun, I pondered all these lessons. I thought about my specific situation. Although I don’t know how things are going to work out, I do know I shouldn’t worry about it. My future is in God’s hands. I know His plan for me is much greater than I can imagine. My purpose is to seek out the kingdom of heaven- not to worry about tomorrow. And as I came to these conclusions, it happened. The so-so sunset began to give way to a beautiful and splendid sight. As the vivid colors began to dance across the horizon, those three little words rang in my ears once again. And in that moment, hope filled my heart as I realized just how perfect God’s timing really is.

Celebrate that Night

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the land,
Every creature was anticipating the celebration at hand.

The stockings are hung and the Christmas tree is trimmed,
And we all take a moment to slow down and find meaning within.

With all the hustle and bustle we often lose sight
Of the glory, majesty and wonder in this beautiful night.

With humility and love, He took on man’s form;
And all nature rejoiced when God was born.

He walked on this earth and talked of God’s love;
He spoke of God’s mercy and preformed signs from above.

Then the time came when He used more than words and signs;
The time came for Him to show God’s love to mankind.

He was sold by a friend for 30 pieces of silver,
And then beaten beyond all reasonable measure.

He was mocked, ridiculed, belittled and scorned,
And then they pressed on His head a crown of thorns.

His broken body struggled with the cross to Calvary,
Where they nailed Him to it and hoisted Him up for the whole world to see.

He hung on that tree in unimaginable pain,
And, when the time came, He gave up His spirit- the lamb was slain.

The world shook and the veil in the temple tore,
For the covenant God made with Abraham was no more.

A new sacrifice was made; an unblemished lamb;
God’s blood had been poured out in a new covenant with man.

After three days, He walked on this earth again,
And showed us that perfect love conquers sin.

He showed us from the depths of His heart and soul
What true love is and how to be whole.

The love that burns inside His Sacred Heart for man
Is greater than our minds can ever imagine.

So, we pause from the hustle and bustle we’ve created for this season,
And remember who we celebrate and His magnificent reason.

We dance in the love and joy He brought to this earth,
And rejoice in the glorious miracle of His birth.

By His stripes we are healed, by His death we are free;
All He asks from us is to love Him back for eternity.

So on this beautiful night, give Him the best present of all;
Give Him your heart and answer His call.

33 Blessings

I’ve been blessed with 33 years of life, love and happiness. Here are 33 things I am thankful for on each and every one of those days(in no particular order):


1. The soldiers who stand on a wall and protect the freedom that I take for granted.

2. The man who has held my hand, dried my tears and shared my laughter as we have journeyed on this great adventure we call life.

3. Chocolate.

4. The faith of 12 men who lived 2000 years ago and all the Christians who have taken up their cross ever since.

5. Clean water.

6. The two people who brought me into this world and taught me what love really is.

7. All the children in my life.

8. The girl who said yes to an angel and the Holy Spirit.

9. The doctors and nurses at Christus Santa Rosa in San Antonio who brought a 32-week old baby safely into this world.

10. The people who raised my soul mate into a man.

11. Peppermint mocha coffee creamer.

12. The God who died for me.

13. A full pantry.

14. Music.

15. The girl that shared my room, my clothes, my CDs and all knows all my stories.

16. The sweet smell of country air.

17. A car that works.

18. The ten-year-old boy who inspires me to be a better person.

19. Priests.

20. The way rain makes everything new.

21. The perfect pair of jeans.

22. Every new breath I breathe in and then let go.

23. My CRHP sisters.

24. Beautiful sunsets.

25. My 3 year old little king who despite coming to this world 8 weeks early is perfectly healthy.

26. Friends, old and new who teach me that family is more than flesh and blood.

27. The roof over my head.

28. Peanut butter M&Ms

29. My best friend who has become my sister who knows what I’m thinking before I say it and encourages me to be who I really am.

30. Appliances that work.

31. The Eucharist.

32. All the people who make my children happy.

33. Family- immediate and extended. They are living proof that God’s love does reign on this Earth.

A Conversation

Lord, I don’t like this place. I don’t like where I am. The worry of tomorrow is stealing the joy of today. How do I cope with this uncertainty? Will tomorrow destroy me?


“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat[or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?” (Matthew 6:25)

Lord, I will give myself over to your will. I will do what you ask. If I only knew what you were asking. Waiting is so hard. What am I waiting for? Where are you taking me? Will I know when you show me? Will I be able to see your will?

For I know well the plan I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

Lord, I am praying. Find me Lord. Find me in this place. This journey is not easy. The road less traveled is scary. Send your peace to my heart. If I know you are here, then I can bear this storm. Because I know, Lord that you are “my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters you lead me; you restore my strength. You guide me along the right path for the sake of your name. Even when I walk through a dark valley, I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and staff give me courage.” (Psalm 23:1-4)

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Lord, I here I am. Teach me to be meek and humble of heart. I trust you. I know I shouldn’t worry about tomorrow because you have told me “do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.”(Matthew 6:34) But what shall I do while I wait? What is my purpose here?

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all you lands; worship the Lord with cries of gladness; come before him with joyful song. Know that the Lord is God, our maker to whom we belong, whose people we are, God’s well-tended flock. Enter the temple gates with praise, its courts with thanksgiving. Give thanks to God, bless his name; good indeed is the Lord, whose love endures forever, whose faithfulness lasts through every age. (Psalm 100)

I have been having this conversation with God for a couple weeks now. We are facing some uncertainty that will require us to make some big decisions in the near future. But it’s not the big changes that are making me uncomfortable. It’s not knowing what those changes will be. I’m in a place of waiting and waiting is hard. I don’t even like to wait in line at the grocery. So waiting for God to show us the right path to take that will forever change our future is almost unbearable. But, in this conversation, God revealed to me something important. We are not made to worry. He will take care of us. He loves us more than we can understand. All the trials and triumphs in our path are there to mold us into the people he calls us to be. I shouldn’t worry while I wait. I should do the one thing that he created us to do. Worship.

The New Tree of Life

I had an “ah-ha!” moment yesterday. Now, I have to admit that my “ah-ha!” discoveries aren’t as shocking to my cradle catholic brothers and sisters. But they are exciting for me because I have one more piece of the puzzle; one more chapter to the story; one more taco on the combination plate. And since my deck of cards is a little more complete, I celebrate.

Earlier this week, I read Genesis Chapter 3 and saw a verse that I had completely forgotten about:

Then the Lord God said: “See! The man has become like one of us, knowing what is good and what is bad! Therefore, he must not be allowed to put out his hand to take the fruit from the tree of life also, and thus eat of it and live forever.” (Genesis 3:22)

So, to recap, God kicked Man out of the garden to keep him from eating from the tree of life. Once Man chose to disobey God and eat from the tree of knowledge, the tree of life is no longer an option. Man could not eat from both trees. So God had no choice but to kick Man out of the garden since Man cut himself off from the tree of life.

Okay, so now read what Jesus says according to the Gospel of John (6: 35, 53-58). He is talking to the crowd who is asking him for a sign. They point out to Him that Moses provided a sign in manna from Heaven. Jesus first tells them that God, not Moses, provided the manna, and that those who ate the manna still died. Then he said:

"I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst……unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him. Just as the living Father sent me and I have life because of the Father, so also the one who feeds on me will have life because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Unlike your ancestors who ate and still died, whoever eats this bread will live forever."

I think the parallel here is so painfully obvious that it does not warrant an explanation. How awesome it is that Jesus is offering us the food that Adam threw away? Jesus has become the new tree of life. And we are all invited to partake of this life giving fruit which he offers through his own flesh and blood in the Eucharist. Wow. How can we refuse that gift?

When I was growing up in the Baptist church, we were taught that what Jesus said during the last supper was not to be taken literally. We learned that the bread represented his body and the wine represented his blood. It never occurred to me to question that teaching because, let’s face it, the bread and wine actually changing into Jesus is a little far-fetched for our finite and human minds to grasp. When I went to a Catholic church for the first time, I learned that they actually believe that the bread was Jesus’ body and the wine was His blood- it wasn’t a representation. I was taken aback by that. How could they believe in such a preposterous idea? I even had to go a few times to be convinced that this is what they actually believe. I thought that I could never believe that myself and stopped going for a little while. But then my curiosity drew me back. I got to thinking that this is what the people of the Catholic Church have believed for 2000 years. That’s a long time. And then I started to think about what great faith the Catholic people must have in order to believe in such a crazy thing. I didn’t think I had what they had. I didn’t have the faith to believe in what they believed in. But I wanted to be around them. I wanted to worship with them. So I kept going to Mass.

And then one day, Mass was different. I had just picked up a book about Eucharistic Miracles(Eucharistic Miracles by Joan Carroll Cruz). My boyfriend and I were in a Catholic book store and I happened to see it on the shelf. Given my new found fascination I had with Catholics and the Eucharist, I couldn’t help but want to read that book. Were there really miracles related to this idea of the Eucharist? I had to know what it said. I wasn’t ready to believe what was in the book, but I had to know what was in the book. The very first chapter was about the miracle at Lanciano, Italy. In this miracle, a priest was questioning the actual presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. This got my attention, because that was exactly what I was doing. Then, at a mass he was presiding over, the host became an actual piece of flesh and the wine became real blood. When I first read that, I was like, yeah right. But, I kept reading and learned this miracle is preserved and on display to this very day. AND they did some tests on the “flesh” and “blood” and determined that it was real human flesh and blood. And that the flesh was muscle from the human heart. That last part is what got me. The flesh was from the human heart. If it really was Jesus, then He was giving us a piece of His heart.

The Mass I attended after reading about this miracle was different. I felt very connected to everyone around me. It was if I knew their secret. As the mass progressed, I became more and more focused on what was happening on the altar. And when the Priest held up the host and said “This is my body, to be given up for you”, something clicked. I didn’t hear “This is my body.” Instead, I heard “This is my heart.” If I hadn’t already been on my knees, I would have fell to them. At that moment, my spirit explained to my intellect what was happening. You see, all my life in the Baptist Church, I was taught that I should give my heart to Jesus. In fact, that is what you do when you pray the special prayer to be saved – you invite Jesus to live in your heart. So, I grew up inviting Jesus to live in my heart. I invited Him to be a part of me. I wanted Him to live in me, and I liked to think that my heart was His. And then, there He was, up on that altar, offering me His heart. It was as if everything had come full circle and a whole new world was revealed to me. The Lord was showing me a part of himself I had never seen. My hunger for the Eucharist began that day. On the way home from that Mass, I remember telling my boyfriend (who later became my husband) that I wanted to be Catholic. He gave me a knowing look and then signed me up for RCIA. And here I am.

Receiving the Eucharist is the highlight of my Christian experience. There is a reason why the Bible describes the Church as the Bride of Christ. The relationship we have with Christ is very intimate through the Eucharist. When we receive Him in the Eucharist, He physically becomes part of us. He nourishes us spiritually AND physically. I think that this is a hard concept for us to understand because of what happened in the garden. When Man chose to eat from the tree of knowledge, he separated himself, body and soul from God which destined Man to die. This is what Adam passed along to us in original sin. Out of His love for us, God himself came down to earth and died an innocent physical death, and then conquered death through the resurrection. By this act, He creates a way for us to gain eternal life with him. Through baptism and our faith, we become part of the Bride of Christ and are brought into His family. And He tells us that our souls will be saved and our bodies will eventually be raised up, made new and reunited with our souls on the last day. In all of this, we see that there is a connection between the physical and spiritual; a connection that died in the garden but then is reestablished through Christ. This connection is nourished in us by Christ through His presence in the Eucharist. Jesus becomes the new tree of life in the Eucharist. How can we not fall to our knees and accept His gift?

Removing the Blindfold

I have to admit that I have a hard time believing in miracles. It’s a strange thing because I believe in the miracles chronicled in the bible. But I have a hard time believing the miracles that happen around me. The gospel reading this Sunday really spoke to me. Jesus healed 10 leapers, but only one came back to give thanks to God. What happened to the other 9? Did they believe in their miraculous healing? Did they see what happened to them with their hearts? Would I be the leaper who came back to thank and praise God, or would I be completely oblivious to what happened? Or worse yet, would I be ungrateful for the miracle?


I am a product of today’s modern society. As a society, we have made tremendous gains in technology, science and industry. And as a result, we tend to be blinded by our own knowledge. We are distracted by our own achievements. In some cases, we have explained away God or the need for God. The pride we gained through our accomplishments has made us blind to the spiritual forces around us. We are quick to explain away those little miracles with science or chance. We are reluctant to give God the credit. Our society has become very secular. And I am right in the middle of it. How do I take off the blindfold? How do I regain that innocent child-like faith that so easily recognizes influences of God in everything around her? How do I live in the world but not be of the world?

I think the first step is to acknowledge that the blindfold exists. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. So, since I know the blindfold is there, I can seek to remove it. But I find the process of removal is not easy. I have been convicted lately by pride. In fact, I would not be remiss to assume the majority of the threads that make up the fabric of my blindfold are strong and stubborn pride. In my latest trip to the confessional where I once again poured out my sin of pride, Father gave me the Litany of Humility as my penance. After praying this prayer, I realized that pride can disguise its self in many ways. Not only are the desires of praise, extolment, and honor rooted in pride, but also are the fears of humiliation, ridicule, and suspicion. If we could rid ourselves of pride, then we would not fear being wrong or being suspected or being forgotten. We would not seek honor, praise or recognition. Imagine how free we would be. If I could remove the pride from my eyes, I wonder what miracles I would see?

So how do I take off the pride? How do I see with those child-like eyes again? Jesus shows us what it is like to live without pride. He never worked to gain anything for himself. He never feared what people would think of Him. He never sought the approval of anyone but His Father. He sacrificed His perfect, pride-less lifeblood to gain our lives. He laid all of Himself on the altar at Calvary in complete surrender to the will of the Father. And in that surrender, God conquered hell for us. He found a way to bring us home to His presence. Jesus shows us the awesome beauty in surrender.

So, I think that the key to conquering pride is found in surrender. When we truly lay everything down on the altar and seek the Father’s will, we become free. We don’t spend energy seeking glory, praise and approval. We are not afraid of being wronged, despised or forgotten. We put others before ourselves so that they may become holier- even more holy than you or I. Isn’t that what Jesus asks us to be? To be an arrow pointing to Him? To be His mirror so that when we gaze at Him, others see His reflection in us? St. Augustine says:

You who do not see God will, by loving your neighbor, make yourself worthy of seeing him. By loving your neighbor, you cleanse your eyes so you can see God.

When we completely surrender ourselves to Him at the foot of the cross, He reaches down and removes our blindfold. He pays the price so that He can remove it and He frees us from ourselves- our pride. But first, we must surrender-wholly and completely surrender. And then He takes our surrendered beings molds us into the creatures we were meant to be; creatures who love Him and each other as He loves us. And with that love, we see the world through His eyes. We see Him along with His miracles in every person He places in our path. And then we can’t help but to serve and love our neighbor because, in doing so, we serve and love Christ himself.

I fear that this kind of surrender is going to take me a lifetime. There are some days when I surrender a little more of myself and the blindfold falls away for a moment. And there are other days when I am clearly trying to navigate my own way through life completely blinded by the world. When the blindfold falls away, I do see things differently. The beauty of the world is so vivid. The exhaustive love in my heart overflows into the deepest corners of my being so that I can’t help but share it with others. I am easily overwhelmed by all the needs in the people around me. And that leaves me happy to rejoice in my own suffering in order to provide some relief for theirs. But when I am blinded, creation’s beauty isn’t as spectacular as the world’s distractions. The instinct to succeed and win approval takes over. The fears of ridicule and failure guide my thoughts and decisions. Suddenly, my neighbor’s problems are not nearly as big as my own. And before I know it, I am surrounded by the cold grayness the world and my blindfold have to offer.

It is my prayer that the Lord will keep calling me to the foot of the cross. That He will continue to bring me to my knees in surrender. And with every piece of myself I place in His hands, He molds me into the person He created me to be. I pray that one day my blindfold will fall off forever- that I will have surrendered everything to my Lord just as He surrendered everything to me. How beautiful it will be to see the world be through His eyes. How lovely it will be to see Him in everyone around me. How privileged I will be to love and serve all the neighbors the Lord places in my path with a happy heart. And then, how magnificent it will be to witness His miracles and then give Him all the praise, glory and honor forever and ever.

Litany of Humility

Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930),
Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...

From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…