So, I have to admit that I am not the same woman I was in my twenties. When I was in my twenties, I remember
looking at the older adults and thinking, “I’m not going to be like them. I’m always going to be hip, stylish and
fun!” Well, I was wrong. The other day, I shockingly realized that I
am one of them. In fact, I could be there fearless leader. When did I grow up and
how could I have been such a silly and naïve twenty-something?
Do you remember those reality make over shows? I felt bad for the women who when on those
makeover shows. I mean, really. How embarrassing! Her friends and family think her personal
style and upkeep is in need of such dire help that they call a reality TV
show. And then the show “surprises” her
by telling her on national TV how bad her problem is. Of course the payoff is the make over and
shopping spree. When I was younger, I
always felt sorry for that poor woman.
But now, 12 years, one husband, two kids and a career later, I am hoping
someone calls one of those shows for me. It would be so nice for someone to tell me
what to buy and then give me the money to buy it. I remember when I loved to go shopping. I loved trying on clothes. I loved finding a good deal and wearing the
latest styles. Now, all I want to do is
get in, and get out with something that fits and is as cheap as possible. And if it takes me longer than 10 minutes, I
am instantly irritated. How did this
happen? When did I morph into the lady I
always felt sorry for?
My taste in TV has also changed. I used to watch network TV, religiously. I was always hooked to the most popular TV
show and could carry on a decent conversation about TV around the water
cooler. Now, in a rare moment when I
actually watch TV, I enjoy Swamp People,
Duck Dynasty, and anything on the History
channel. I haven’t a clue what they show
on ABC or CBS. Oh, and movies? Forget it.
Somehow, my attention span has been drastically reduced. There is rarely a movie that I can sit
through without going stir crazy or falling asleep. I sometimes wonder if an adult can develop
ADD.
So what has changed over the past 12 years? Well, I think I can easily blame this on my
kids. Yep, it is definitely their
fault. It has been 12 years since I have
been in a dressing room all by myself or even to the bathroom by myself. It has been 12 years since I have been able
to watch anything on TV without interruptions.
It has been 12 years since I have been able to walk leisurely through a
department store or a mall. It’s been 12
years since my husband and I have really, truly slept a good, solid, peaceful 8
hours in a row. These kids definitely
move you from a serene place where you feel like you have control over your
surroundings to a place where your world is turned on its head at least 387
times a day. That’s got to do something to
a person’s sanity.
Yep, crazy is a good word to describe what these kids do to
you. They eat the food off your plate,
paint your walls with sharpie markers, turn your last pair of black pumps into
matching battle ships in the wading pool, teach you the value of having the
poison control number glued to the phone, test the structural integrity of all
your furniture, and are sure to teach you a lesson about “borrowing” your
Mother-in-law’s Lexus without her knowledge.
So, I guess it is rather remarkable that I am not completely
bonkers. Well, I’m not sure I can say
that with conviction. Let’s just say
that I haven’t been institutionalized…yet.
And, without a doubt, I would do this “kid thing” all over
again. You see, that my friends, is
proof of God’s existence. Because even
though they have turned my life upside down and inside out, I love the little
boogers more than I can express in words. It’s love when you see the beauty in the
picture your toddler drew on the wall with your set of colored sharpies. It’s love when you see the ingenuity in your little
son’s little mind when he figured out the black pumps would make the best boats
because they didn’t have holes like the pink ones. It’s love when you walk into the living room
and are truly enamored with the complexity of the fort your son created with
all the clean and previously folded laundry.
Yes, my friends, that kind of love has to come from something greater
than me. That kind of love is
divine.
God gives us the gift of children to reveal to us the nature
of who he is. Many times over, the bible
calls humanity the “children of God.”
And if we really think about it, in our experiences with our children, we
see that God is showing us how much he loves.
We love our children without hesitation, through tough moments,
unconditionally, and forever. And so it
is with God. St. Paul tells us that
nothing can separate us from the love of God.
Now that I am a Mother, I get that.
In fact, I get it more and more each day, every day, and all the
live-long day.
So, yes, I am older.
I need a makeover. I need
sleep. I could use a few dollars in the
bank and I probably need more time for myself.
But, I am not in want of love.
And I thank God each day for this great opportunity to know what true
love is, how to love and how to be loved- like crazy.
